Shades of Green
by Gecko Osco
Summary: Well all have songs that represent who we are and what we've been through, this is a soundtrack of sorts that displays facets of Hisoka's life.  The oneshots are interrelated but not in order.  Tsusoka.  Please Review and enjoy!
1. Track 1

Note: Hello all! I know this isn't either of my other Yami stories, but I couldn't help writing this. Before I go any further, I have to tell you the story behind this project. When I write my stories, I usually write them to music to get me in the mood, so I usually make specific playlists for different fandoms. The playlist I write Yami to is set up somewhat like the show, starting off dark and angsty and it ends with heartbreakingly beautiful melodies.

This work is something like a playlist or a soundtrack, but to a person as opposed to an entire fandom. The one-shots are all interrelated, but not in order and will relate in some way to a song. I have 12 songs already picked, and the 12th is the absolute final. So I propose this before you start reading: if you have a song that you love and think reflects a facet of Hisoka, send it too me before I get to the 12th song and I'll incorporate it. Now, I hope you all enjoy!

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_**Shades of Green**_

**Track One: Stories**

"_Too much of the same Stories in our lives,_

_I think it's time for a change, don't you?"_

The autumn wind was brisk and chill, blowing red and gold leaves in tiny swirls around his feet. He stuffed his hands deeper into his tan coat as he walked through the spinning leaves and through the park. He briefly sent an annoyed glance upward as if cursing whoever was controlling the weather before the glare was shifted over to his partner beside him, chuckling at him. He hated the cold and he was fairly sure that most with his pale complexion hated it as well; red noses and cheeks were only cute on chubby, baby cupids on Valentine cards. His glare melted as a slightly darker and larger hand reached into his coat pocket and wrapped around on of his chilled hands; Tsuzuki always knew exactly what he needed, even when Hisoka didn't say anything.

Kurosaki Hisoka wasn't the most vocal or emotional person, which was ironic considering his abilities as an Empath, but after years of being Tsuzuki's partner ( both as a Shinigami and as a lover) he had softened up a bit. It was gradual and wasn't even noticeable until it was done, but it had happened nonetheless. However, that still didn't mean he was suddenly as chatty and obnoxious as his partner…he was naturally contemplative and calm. The main difference was that he now seemed contemplative and calm to others, instead of cold and indifferent. Hisoka squeezed Tsuzuki's hand back in a silent thank you as they continued to meander their way through the park, giving the taller man a small but expressive smile and a flash of gratefulness through their link.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Hisoka?" Tsuzuki's smooth voice asked quietly. The park seemed to demand a certain amount of hushness from its visitors, even though they were among the only ones here this early in the day. "Don't feel as if you owe them some sort of obligation, because you don't."

"I know," Hisoka answered just as quietly. His bright green eyes looked up and found the concerned looking violet eyes he had grown so used to. He stopped walking and removed his other hand from his pocket to wrap around Tsuzuki's free hand, stilling them in a clearing surrounded by headstones. His light brown hair was blown gently by the autumn wind, renegade strands ghosting across his forehead. "I think I need to do this, Asato. But I need to do it for me, not them. Closure or something."

Tsuzuki worry faded a bit, still brushing across Hisoka's consciousness in gentle waves with the myriad of love, warmth, and attraction that usually cocooned Hisoka. It felt nice, Hisoka though belatedly as he leaned into Tsuzuki, eyes closed and mind focused on what he and Tsuzuki were feeling. The worry had once been suffocating, always accompanied with the usual self-loathing, guilt and everything else Tsuzuki kept inside of himself, and more than once it had threatened to overwhelm Hisoka. But, Hisoka was stubborn and hadn't let that deter him from helping Tsuzuki fix himself… Tsuzuki had done the same for him. It took many years, but everything was as good as it could be now. Hisoka and Tsuzuki, two broken souls that had managed to fix themselves despite all the doubts that said they wouldn't.

"Well, if you're sure," Tsuzuki answered with a genuine smile. He gently pried his hand away from Hisoka's and threaded it through the younger Shinigami's soft hair. The hand traveled down the slender but strong back and rested at his hip as Hisoka leaned up and pressed his lips against his with enough pressure for Tsuzuki to respond. Neither were aware of how long they stayed connect like that, focused solely on the other and the feel of the other's body against their own; Watari used to joke that they would stay like that for eternity if they had the chance.

"I am," Hisoka said against Tsuzuki's lips as he pulled away. "Just…stay with me, please?" It wasn't asked in a pleading tone, just in a simple that already knew the answer. Pleading was something neither did anymore; those days were behind them. They had both been through so much in their lives and after-lives; they didn't dwell on the past too much now. Hisoka sometimes, in his more poetic moments, was reminded of the myth of a phoenix, rising from the ashes of its former life and emerging stronger and more beautiful than before. That's what he and Tsuzuki had done, for lack of a better example. Which was probably why Tsuzuki was so surprised (and no doubt worried) when Hisoka told him he wanted to confront a part of that past they had both worked so hard to deal with and leave behind.

To be completely honest, Hisoka didn't really understand the need he had to do this either. In his beginning years as a Shinigami, he knew he would never have considered going to confront his past, but now…well, now it didn't seem as daunting as it had before. Now it seemed like something he had to do to completely embrace this new life he had. That didn't mean that he was all gung-ho to do this though, hence why he had asked Tsuzuki to go with him on their next vacation. He always felt better with Tsuzuki near him, no matter what he was trying to face down, he felt stronger with him.

"Always," Tsuzuki answered with blatant honesty. He pressed a butterfly-like kiss to Hisoka's forehead before pulling away and settling beside him once more, hand still linked with the younger Shinigami's.

The two started through the cemetery again, weaving through the ornate headstones and careful to not disturb any of the departed. They, after all, were Shinigami walking through a park of departed souls; sometimes a spirit not yet summoned to Meifu would fell their presence and usually get upset. Hisoka took in a deep breath of the cool, fall air, mind focused on what he was about to do. This strange feeling of anxiousness and fear had settled over him as he and Tsuzuki made their way steadily closer to their destination. It was silly, he knew, to still feel a twinge of fear at the thought of his past, but it couldn't be helped. Yes, it had been over fifty years since he had become a Shinigami and his old life seemed so distant sometimes it was as if he was looking back on someone's else's life in his dreams. Like his life was really just someone else's story that he knew was similar to his own.

But, he knew deep down that wasn't the case. The stories were his own and the horror they had caused him could still affect him even after so many years. Perhaps that was why he was here today, walking steadily toward a piece of his life that he would forget if he could. This old story, it needed an ending so his story with Tsuzuki could be all that it could be. Maybe this wouldn't end all of the horrible stories in his life, or Tsuzuki's for that matter, but it would end one and Hisoka thought that maybe that one would be enough. It was time to really make a change, time to confront some of what he had worked through internally, externally.

Hisoka and Tsuzuki walked through the headstones for a time before they spotted what they had come for. The younger Shinigami took a deep breath as he took in the beautiful onyx headstones, paired beside one another and shining in the autumn morning sun. Hisoka let go of Tsuzuki's hand with a gentle squeeze and gave the taller man a calm nod before heading for the headstones by himself. He needed Tsuzuki with him, but he needed to do some of this by himself, as much as that thought made his stomach flip nervously. He glanced back once and let Tsuzuki's undeniably proud and encouraging expression strengthen his resolve before he turned back around, green eyes fixed on the headstones. He could read the names on them now, he was close enough, and he reached inside his coat to pull out a pair of lilies he had picked up.

Hisoka took a deep breath and placed the lilies on the graves before stepping back and staring at the headstones in silence. He didn't say anything for an undeterminable amount of time, hands stuffed in his pockets and shoulders hunched in a defensive position. He could feel, to his horror, the prickling of wetness behind his eyes but he took another deep breath and reigned in his emotions. The next look he fixed on the headstones was calm and steady; it was one that he knew would have scared them when he was younger and alive. It was a knowing look, one that could strip a person of his or her lies and reveal the truth of who he or she really was underneath everything. His voice found him then, a bit shaky but level nonetheless.

"You know, I bet neither of you ever thought I would come here to give you my respects," Hisoka said with little resentment. "Even if I had been alive."

He was quiet again, not really sure of what to say next. He smiled to himself, thinking his thoughts sounded ridiculous. They were dead; his words would have little effect on them now. Still, he really couldn't think of anything to say, even though he knew there were near a million things he wanted to shout, scream, hiss, and mutter at them. He had always held the idea of confronting them when they were still alive, coming to them looking not a day over sixteen and laying their sins against him bare. He never had though, for two very different reasons. One, he had been to scared to do it when he was still young by Shinigami terms and second, as an older Shinigami he was more focused on his life with Tsuzuki, not the past.

But here he was now, and all those words he would have said in anger were gone, replaced with something that mirrored regret and resignation. He doubted his words would have made much difference to them if he had come to them when they were alive; their fear at seeing him alive (well, sort of alive) would have overshadowed anything else trying to get through to them. Maybe they would have felt sorry for what they did to him, and maybe they wouldn't have, it really didn't matter anymore. Hisoka wasn't here for them; he was here for him, because he needed to do this, he need to close this door. This wasn't about them, it was about him, and whatever he said would be just fine. He looked back and caught Tsuzuki's eye, smiling gently at him and assuring him that everything would be all right. And the funny thing, Hisoka believed him.

"Hello father, mother," Hisoka said quietly, reaching out to touch the headstone bearing his mother's name gently.

"_I remember, the way you made me feel when I was with you  
I remember, the smile that always brought me back to you  
That look in your eyes, I never thought that this could be untrue."_

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Lyrics are from "Stories" by Trapt.

Okay, well that's the first one! Some of these will be longer and some will be shorter, and the ratings will vary, hence why the story has a blanket M rating. It just depends on the nature of the song and what the theme of the one shot is. Remember, if you want a song that you think represents Hisoka here, just let me know before the 12th song and I'll incorporate it in somehow. Please review guys! It really does make my day! See you all next time!

Osco


	2. Track 2

Thank you who read and even more thanks to those who reviewed! I hope you enjoy this one!

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_**Shades of Green**_

**Track Two: Stolen**

"_Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced_

_Another sun-soaked season fades away…"_

It was rare for Shinigami to get vacations, but not unheard of, at least, according to Tatsumi at any rate. Perhaps the more rare sight was that Hisoka had agreed to said vacation in reward for his partner's (and his own if he really thought about it) efforts in their last and grisly case. As Tsuzuki had argued, it just wasn't right to expect the two of them to head right back to work after dealing with a flesh-eating corpse who had been stupidly (that was Hisoka's term) been brought back her boyfriend. Now, whether Hisoka agreed or merely gave in to stop the incessant badgering remained to be seen, but it was done and here he was.

Sitting on an uncomfortably sandy beach on an uncomfortably hot day and watching is idiot of a partner cavorting in waves while trying to steal a confection of some sort from Watari. Why Watari felt he had to come along was beyond Hisoka and he didn't feel like trying to figure out the blond scientist's motives now.

With an annoyed sigh, Hisoka went back to reading his book, or at least trying to read with all the ruckus the two aforementioned idiots were making, drawing his large beach towel around him further. He looked down in mild disgust at the outfit Watari had bought him for said vacation, said outfit that he had been forced into against his more intelligent thought process. It didn't matter that 'forced' really just meant that Tsuzuki had asked him to, because apparently jeans and a shirt were not proper beach attire. The shorts were small and black, ending much to high up on his already to skinny legs and beginning much to low on his equally skinny torso. The design was supposed to make the wearer look slender and trim, according to Watari, but Hisoka didn't see the point of trying to look skinnier than he already was. And as for the top, well, Watari had said he didn't need a top at the beach, which had earned him a solid smack upside the head before he relinquished the loose white t-shirt he bought in addition to the shorts.

The shirt not only was white, but it also was short sleeve, hence why Hisoka had curled himself up in a beach towel and hadn't made any effort to get loose since they had arrived. Secretly, he was planning on letting some horrible creature loose in Watari's lab the instant they returned to Meifu.

Another bout of laughter attracted Hisoka's rapidly failing attention span away from his book and back towards the water again. He couldn't see Watari, and could only guess as to the scientist's whereabouts, but even if Watari had been in sight, Hisoka wouldn't have been looking at him. Why? Well, because Tsuzuki wet and shirtless, playing in the ocean, was vastly more interesting than Watari could ever hope to be. Not that Hisoka was paying attention to a wet a shirtless Tsuzuki, no, but rather making sure the idiot didn't drown himself to a second death or something equally stupid. Yes, yes that's what he was watching for, Hisoka thought to himself has he determinedly ignored the blush staining his cheeks.

"Watching anything _interesting, _Bon?" The amused voice startled Hisoka and he looked quickly up into smiling, and knowing, amber eyes.

"Watari, you're getting sand on my blanket," Hisoka responded with annoyance, ducking his head back to his book and hoping against hope that Watari didn't notice his blush. It was embarrassing enough knowing that he had been staring at Tsuzuki, he didn't need someone else pointing it out to him.

"Am I now?" Hisoka glared as the scientist plopped himself down without preamble, getting wet sand (which Hisoka thought was infinitely worse than dry sand because it stuck everywhere) all over the beach towel and Hisoka's bare feet. "Well, I just wanted to check up on you and make sure you're having fun under the umbrella…where you've been since we got here! It's a vacation, Bon! You're allowed to enjoy yourself."

"I'm fully aware, Watari-_san_," Hisoka grit out, forcibly ignoring looking at the scientist.

"Well, you're about as cuddly as a cactus today, aren't you?"

"Test the theory and I'll make sure to let Tatsumi know why he couldn't find those office reports for your lab the other day."

Watari gave Hisoka an annoyed look of his own before heaving a melodramatic sigh. "Fine, fine, I'll leave you to yourself, Bon. But…don't spend the entire day hidden under here. Whatever you're thinking will go wrong if you venture out, won't, I promise."

And, without giving Hisoka a chance to respond, the blond got up and said to let Tsuzuki know he went to got get some snacks, walking away and whistling under his breath. Hisoka's green eyes watched him leave until he was out of sight, lost in the crowd, before looking back over towards Tsuzuki…only to find him not there. He perked up, instantly aware and alert, scanning the beach for anything suspicious or anything that could have distracted his partner, but found nothing. He stood up; careful to keep the towel closely wrapped around, and contemplated, a little worriedly even, whether Tsuzuki was still out in the ocean. He had a lot to eat before he went in, after al, and even was eating in the water…Hisoka remembered the hour rule of swimming and eating. Before he really began to get concerned, his eyes less hard and more open, a pair of wet, cold hands covered his eyes, making him jump and let a very undignified yelp.

"Tsuzuki!" Hisoka exclaimed angrily (and a little relieved deep down) as he threw off the hands and glared at his laughing partner. "Don't do that, you idiot!"

"Sorry 'Soka," Tsuzuki replied not sounding the least bit contrite. His expressive purple eyes were glittering in the kind of unrestrained happiness Hisoka didn't see that often from his partner. He reached out with his empathy and was surprised to find the feelings genuine in his partner…who knew Tsuzuki liked the water so much? "I couldn't resist! You should've seen your face!"

Hisoka sulked, which was vastly more mature than pouting, and began to sit back down, only to be stopped by Tsuzuki. "What?"

"Why aren't you having any fun?"

"I'm having plenty of f--"

"So, that's why you haven't stopped scowling since the moment we got here?"

Hisoka was once again thrown off balance by how perceptive Tsuzuki could be at times, gaping like a fool for a moment before he settled back into his customary indifference and calm poise. "I just don't like the sand. It gets everywhere and takes forever to get off once we leave."

"Oh," Tsuzuki said, smile dimming slightly as if he understood something beyond Hisoka's words. It brightened again though, smile gentler and less teasing than before as he looked at empath. "Well, it's not so bad once you're in the water! Come on!"

Hisoka's towel was then promptly thrown off and Tsuzuki began dragging him towards the water, seemingly unaffected by the threats and protests coming from the honey-blond boy. Hisoka took a moment to make sure his shields were up, not wanting Tsuzuki to feel anything accidentally and not wanting to feel anything of Tsuzuki's, before beginning his struggles again, struggles that didn't stop even when he was picked up and thrown unceremoniously into the water. When he surfaced, wet, dripping, and looking very much like a spitting cat, the look he fixed Tsuzuki with could have burst a man blessed with more sense into flames.

"_What_ in the nine Hells did you do that for?!"

Tsuzuki just smiled at him as he climbed back to his feet, a hint of sadness playing behind the honest mirth in those endless violet eyes. Hisoka didn't want to fathom what the sadness was for, too determined to keep a hold on his anger, so he ignored it, fists balling at his sides and glare deepening. The water wasn't cold, and it was even a little nice on his sun-drenched body, but that wasn't enough to keep him from being angry…he hadn't wanted to go into the water.

Hadn't wanted Tsuzuki, the man he had come to view as a friend over these years and had started to look at as something so unattainable, see him in all his sixteen year old awkwardness. And for once, it had nothing to do with scars or curses…he just didn't want Tsuzuki to see him and how funny he looked, too pale skin and skinny legs. He looked down for a moment, trying to collect himself before he fired off angry words that were more embarrassed and ashamed rather than angry, but a warm hand threading through his hair caught his attention. He looked up at Tsuzuki's open expression, not caring about the contact beyond how soothing it felt, hundreds of questions running through his mind but unable to be voiced.

"You don't look bad, Hioska," Tsuzuki stated firmly, not an ounce of joking in his tone. Hisoka felt his cheeks heat up again but he didn't look away. He couldn't, so caught up in warmth of his partner's gaze and the safety of his touch.

In that moment, Hisoka could feel something in himself being taken away, despite his best intentions and all efforts against this very thing. He felt nothing but sincerity in Tsuzuki has he looked at him, in all of his awkward glory, and meant every word he said…and Hisoka was lost. He had always cared for his partner but this was different…this was consuming and dangerously beautiful. He couldn't understand it but for once it didn't seem to matter…and after nearly twenty years, not since he was a boy, Hisoka found himself loving another person, after swearing he never could.

Hisoka must have been staring because Tsuzuki started to shake him, a slightly concerned look coloring his face and the empath brought himself back, looking at his wondrously idiotic partner in a new light. Or, perhaps, just through a different lens, seeing things that had been hidden before but were now blindingly clear and vibrant. He waved off Tsuzuki's concern, smirking ever so slightly before bending down and heaving a huge splash of water into his partner's surprised face. Hisoka spent the remainder of the day frolicking in a very unprofessional way, heedless of practically everything except the knowledge that Tsuzuki had stolen his very heart…and that he couldn't have been happier.

"_You have stolen my_

_You have stolen my heart."_

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Song is "Stolen" by Dashboard Confessionals.

Osco can do sap…why yes she can! Sorry this second one took so long…I have no real excuse, I'm just sorry! Remember, if you have a song you want to get added, PM me the title and artist before I get to track 10…that gives me enough time to fit them in before tracks 11 and 12. Review!


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